


Sollux: Bang best bud

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blow Jobs, Condoms, Drunken Sex (implied), M/M, Morning After, One Night Stand (implied), Oral Sex, consenual sex, depends on reviews i guess, this may or may not be multi chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 07:33:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2613566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your first sensations are pretty sub-par. Your cheek is stuck to your pillow due to a nice sized puddle of drool you’d compiled during the night, and your mouth tasted like absolute shit. Seriously, had something died in there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR and you are currently PASSED THE FUCK OUT. You, my friend, are drifting happily in sleepy land, prancing around and ignoring the fuck-load of pain your frail little body was going through right now. Nah man, pain was for real life. 

This bliss doesn’t last long, of course. Sharp blades of light pierce through the protecting cover of your eyelids, and you are begrudgingly roused from your slumber. 

Your first sensations are pretty sub-par. Your cheek is stuck to your pillow due to a nice sized puddle of drool you’d compiled during the night, and your mouth tasted like absolute shit. Seriously, had something died in there? You were pretty relieved you were alone. You were almost certain you could kill a man with a odor like this. 

The bathroom sounds pretty great right now. Minty toothpaste, a nice hot shower… 

 

==> Sollux: Get up. 

No way in hell that’s happening. You’re perfectly content in your mass of thin sheets and wrinkled blankets, thank you very much. No, you think you’ll stay right the fuck where you are. You are, however, awake, despite how your eyelids’ rebellion against your mind. Sure, a good clean-up sounds tantalizing right about now, but that required getting up, and getting up risked being exposed to the possibly cold air of your room.

You don’t necessarily recall hitting the sack, but this wasn’t at all an unusual occurrence. It was actually quite often that your body decided to just collapse in your sheets and end the almost endless stream of code from your fingers. It was probably for the best, sure, but it was annoying as hell. You had stuff to do, damn it, and no amount of sleep-deprivation could keep you from your duties. 

Okay well, scratch that, it could, but you didn’t dwell on that. 

Your eyes cracked open (taking a disgusting moment longer than it should have, because of that... yellow eye shit. You’d never really bothered to look up what it was really called) and you glanced around. Your vision was fuzzy, and the only thing you could really make out in the room without your glasses was the piercing red letters of your alarm clock that sat in front of you. 

Shit, it was three o’clock in the afternoon. What were you doing last night? 

Never mind that, it was time to /go/. You shifted your legs beneath the blankets, and forced yourself upright. There was a rather awkward slide of sheets between your legs, and apparently you were naked. 

==> Sollux: Flip the fuck out. 

Why the hell would you do that? This, once again, wasn’t all that uncommon. Despite the pleas of your friends to buy something other than jeans and a t-shirt to sleep in, you opted to just take the easy way out, and go with sleeping bare. It was actually pretty damn comfortable, albeit a bit weird when you couldn’t remember what you did last night for shit. 

Normally, you at least had a vague recollection of what type of code you’d been working on, or at least what you’d done the night before, but your mind was drawing a complete blank. You probably just over did the energy drinks again or something. No big deal. 

Now in a proper sitting-up position, you groped lazily for your glasses, before pushing them up the bridge of your nose. On your first attempt, you slid them on upside down. God, you were tired. You tugged the lenses off, slipped them back on (correctly this time) and stood up with a low grunt to book it to the bathroom. You couldn’t smell yourself, but you were willing to bet money you needed a shower, like, direly. 

After thoroughly ridding your eyes of that nasty yellow bullshit, you stretched up and yawned heartily, before blinking your eyes into focus to find that goddamned bathroom. 

What you find is unexpected to say the least. 


	2. Chapter 2

==> Sollux: Inspect surroundings. 

You’re pretty positive you haven’t ever found an interest in movies, especially not this many. The walls around you are practically plastered with different movie posters, ranging from depressing looking love stories, to puke-up-your-heart cheesy ones. There’s a small, faded wooden desk right in front of you, on top of it a large collection of crumbled up papers and chewed pencils. 

Perhaps this isn’t your room. 

Well, it was going to happen eventually. You didn’t really find yourself to be the partying kind of guy, or hell, the get-drunk kind of guy, but you were bound to stumble on that part of yourself sometime through your college career. 

Of course that fact didn’t make your current predicament any less terrifying. Yeah, you said it. You were scared. Who had you slept with? Had you slept with anyone? Were you just kidnapped by some guy addicted to shitty movies? 

==> Sollux: Realize how stupid you sound. 

You’re way ahead of yourself. You shake off the idiotic thoughts and just stick to what was happening now. 

==>Sollux: Status 

You are currently STILL NAKED and holy shit it actually is pretty cold in here. You better find yourself some clothes and quick. Your SHIT FLIPPING METER is at 50%, a DANGEROUS level. You could fly off the handle at any moment; just absolutely loose yourself in the moment that is this, which is actually quite understandable because you are in a STRANGER’S HOME. You also really need to PISS, which probably means you were drinking last night, as if that wasn’t already obvious. 

On your way to the bathroom, you stumble a bit on a pair of pants. Oh wait. Not just any pair of pants, but yours. You tug your jeans over your bony hips with a relieved sigh, and proceed through a door that looks like it should be the bathroom. Lucky you, you guessed right. 

After relieving your bladder, you step back out, and monitor your surroundings. It all looks pretty much the same as before. Shitty movie posters, crumbled papers, clothes on the floor, a slowly standing figure to your left… 

Wait. 

“Didn’t expect you to be up by now.” Your best friend Karkat -bags under his eyes, short stature, red hair and all- greeted you with a light frown. “I made coffee. You seem pretty out of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again. I know this chapter is super short but I've got serious writer's block like, major. I just wanted to give you guys a little something. Comments appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

==> Sollux: Flip the fuck out. 

Now was a pretty good time to freak out. 

You were half naked in your friend’s apartment, where you’d woken up /totally/ naked, and he was greeting you like the two of you were some sort of roomies. Unlike you, Karkat was fully clothed, clad in a pair of batman PJ bottoms and a loose t-shirt. It looked way too big for him, and a bit ridiculous. You wondered why he would get something that purposely didn’t fit him. Seriously. That was just stupi- 

That was your shirt. 

Oh man. That was your fucking shirt that Aradia got you as a gag gift that one time at a dumb Christmas party she’d forced you to go to. The letters “#tshirt { color: #ffffff ; background: #000000 ; }” practically burned your retinas. There was no doubt about it now. You did your best friend. You have no recollection as to how, or why, but you did. 

And he seemed absolutely cool with it. 

In the midst of all your flipping the fuck out, you sort of forget to reply, and only stand there staring at the shorter like an idiot. 

Karkat gives you a strange look, thick brows scrunching slightly in confusion, “Dude. You okay?” 

==> Sollux: Answer.

Yeah, you’re pretty positive you don’t have the capacity to even gargle out a groan for Karkat at this point. You’re still a bit in shock that this whole shenanigan was going down. Er. /Went/ down.

==> Sollux: Be Karkat.

You are now KARKAT VANTAS and its about time Sollux woke up. You were getting damn close to calling an ambulance he was passed out so hard. You, yourself, trudged out of bed at about nine, flipping on the cartoon network and relaxing with a bowl of captain crunch with no milk. Milk just made everything soggy. It was disgusting. 

But what you did this morning wasn’t the problem. The issue right now was Sollux appeared to have completely fried his brain with all the drinks last night. You were beginning to actually worry about him. This didn’t seem like a normal hangover. 

==> Karkat: Console friend. 

Consoling people wasn’t exactly your strong suit. You clutched your coffee cup in one hand, and used your other to waved it in front of his face. “Earth to idiot. You’re freaking me out, Lux,” 

Even your use of his least favorite nickname wasn’t snapping him out of it. Holy shit, had he gone brain dead? You told him to taper off after the seventh drink or so, but noooo. That idiot just had to kill a billion or so brain cells. Great, and now /you’re/ gonna take the blame for it. 

You set your mug on the small table beside your bed, and sit down next to Sollux. 

===> Karkat: Be Sollux. 

As hard as you try to be Sollux, it seems he’s not really responding to anything. Even when you poke him in the side, he’s still as a statue. 

“Ugh, Sollux, seriously, you’re to have to say something eventuall- “ 

“Did we have sex," he mumbles dully in reply.

The way he says sex almost makes you laugh out loud. What a moron. You’d think that after three year of braces he’d learn not to fuck with them. Now he was stuck with this permanent retainer and a hilarious lisp. But anyway. 

“…Is that an issue?” 

===> Sollux: flip the fuck- 

“FUCK,” 

Oh. Well. 

Sollux is clutching his head now, knotting his dirty-blond hair between his fingers in a way that looks pretty painful. You flinch for him, and scoot away. 

“Right. Uh. I’m just gonna…” You gulp, and glance away. Fuck. The best friend handbook never really prepared you for this. Where’s the section about “Accidentally banging your best friend drunk”? You could really use that about know. 

You stand, turn your heal, and walk out of the room, shutting the door behind you. You sigh, lean against the door, and close your eyes. Great. Now he hates you. That’s just what you wanted to come out of this. The last night was pretty fuzzy for you too, but you hadn’t completely flipped your shit. You brushed a bit of red hair from your eyes, brow creased as you thought carefully.


	4. Chapter 4

You decided to head back to the kitchen. No Sollux up there, so there shouldn’t be any problems, right? You pulled your favorite mug from the lower shelf, filling it almost to the brim with hot, straight black coffee (the straightest thing you’d ever eat. Heh.). No cream, no sugar, just black. You needed the pick-me-up. 

You could hear Sollux from the room over. It sounded like he’d just thrown a pillow at the wall, which explained why he closed the door in the first place. You gave a low sigh, taking a swig of the nearly scalding coffee in your hand. 

The evening had started out so innocent, too. If you had known Sollux would be so opposed to this the next morning, you would have stopped everything. He was just so… insistent, and you with your huge crush on this guy since high school had a hell of a hard time saying no. 

===> Karkat: Flashback. 

“Wait. KK. Ith… ithn’t the party over there..?” 

“Captor, no. You are stumbling over fucking air you are so drunk. You’re done partying for one night.” 

“Pfft. Wow thanks mom,” 

“Shut the hell up. Do you seriously want to wake up in a cloud of weed smoke, covered in those bimbos and, I dunno, missing your kidney or something??” 

“Duh,” 

“Oh my god. Get upstairs you complete idiot.” 

Sollux gave you a lazy grin that stretched over his pale features, and you shook your head, pushing at his thin back until he stumbled up the stairs to your apartment. His hair was a disheveled mess, way more than usual, and his mostly controllable lisp was off the fucking charts awful. He sounded like your art history professor, for Christ’s sake. 

His normal tall stance was almost doubled over as he shuffled his way up the concrete stairs, clutching the handrail like a lifeline. You could’ve sworn he just about cracked his head open on those things a couple times, clumsy dumbass. 

Finally you’d made it to the top floor (sometimes you regretted accepting the third floor apartment), and you easily tugged your keys out, shoving them into the lock, and pushing your stumbling friend inside. He almost instantly collapsed on your worn grey couch, and for a moment you could’ve sworn he’d died, he’d gone so limp.

Pulling off your black hoodie, you hung it next to the door, plopping down next to the noodle-limp frame of Sollux. He was such a lightweight, and the idiot knew it too, but did nothing to slow down his consumption. The only reason you went to parties with him was to keep an eye on him and make sure he didn’t make any dumb decisions. Although… in the back of your mind the real reason you watched over him so fervently at those events was so you didn’t have to watch him grope some freshman bimbo with double D’s and caked on makeup. The mere thought made you want to gag. 

Sollux sat up from your couch, slinging one wire thin arm over the back of it and letting out a belch. You rolled your eyes. “You should get to bed.” You mumble, standing to retrieve a bear from your fridge. Unlike your tiny counterpart, you could hold your own. Sollux waved a hand at you, and grinned, baring his dumb retainer.

Rolling your eyes, you sit back down, propping yourself on the arm of the couch as you sipped lazily at your can. 

There was a long, awkward silence. Sollux glanced at you, and you glanced back, raising a brow. There was something in that dual-colored gaze. Something different. Normally, the only thing you received from him was a mocking glare, or the occasional spiteful glance, but now it was… foggy. That was the best way to describe it. It made you curious, and when he spoke up you made sure to pay attention to his slurred words. 

“You’re pretty cute,” 

Wait. Hold up. Hold the fucking phone. You stare over at Sollux, eyes wide. No you were not blushing. No your heart did not skip a beat. He was drunk, you reminded yourself, forcing yourself to glance away. 

“And you’re drunk as fuck. What were you even thinking back there?” 

Sollux shrugged, and adjusted his glasses, “It’th… eathier when I’m buzzed, y’know?” 

You stared at him again, and set your can aside. “What’s easier?” You prodded, cocking a brow. You sort of wanted to see where this was going. Maybe he was actually going to say something meaningful for once. He gave you that usual, toothy smirk and waggling his fucking eyebrows at you. 

“To get laaaiid,” He snorted, and covered his mouth as he let out his reedy laughter. You groaned. 

“If you think I’m letting you back out there like this, you’ve got another thing coming, Sollux.” You growled at him, chugging down the rest of your drink. 

The smaller man kept that dumb grin plastered to his face, and he leaned forward, practically sitting in your lap at this point. It made your breathing pick up just a bit, but you would never admit that. 

“I don’ think I gotta go back out there to get thome action, Vantath,” He had put on this almost sultry tone, and it made your green eyes widen. There was definitely some blood flowing to your cheeks at this point, and the way Sollux was looking at you right now was just fucking filthy. He wasn’t serious, was he? 

You took in a breath, opening your mouth to reply when pair of grinning, alcohol-tainted lips were shoved against your own, and your heart stopped. 

Holy shit.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's not dead???

The kiss was hot and sloppy, hardly even worth a drunken frat-party story you would pull from this situation, but at the same time it was unbelievable, determined and, well, tantalizing. You felt your heart thump hard against your chest as you reluctantly kissed him back. Pretty soon, however, you were coming to your senses, it seemed. Your green eyes snapped open and you shoved him back hard, your cheeks a fiery red and his as well, but for a different reason. He grinned sleazily up at you, and had the /gall/ to reach for your fly. You swatted his hand away like the Good Samaritan you were (bullshit) and grit your teeth. 

“What the fuck are you trying to pull, Captor?” You shout up at him, thick brow scrunched in embarrassment as the chuckle he gave you went straight to your dick. 

“I thought I did made that clear, dude,” He replied matter-of-factly, leaning forward and draping his thin, wiry arms around your rather chunky waste. You grimace; his face was dangerously close to your crotch. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing, Sollux. Get off before you do something you regret,” You had the consideration to warn him, but it was more a reminder for you than anything else. He bit his lip and fumbled with your fly, and this time you let him. It was clumsy, uncoordinated and over all embarrassing -- what with how he pawed at the fabric like a puppy trying to get at a hidden treat -- but you found it oddly adorable: appealing, even. You felt yourself shudder when he finally managed to pull the button apart, shifting your jeans down to mid-thigh.

“Sollux, I’m being serious, you don’t want to do this-“ You were cut off by a gasp. No, wait, not any gasp, but yours. That thin hand of his had found its way into your boxer briefs in the mere seconds you’d decided to look away, and was now rubbing blissfully up against your still somewhat flaccid length. 

“I’m bein’ theriouth, KK,” He retorted with a goofy grin, whispering the words into your ear as he fondled you. “I wan’ thith, an I know… you do too, heh.”

Were you going to let this happen, Karkat fucking Vantas? Were you REALLY about to toss every last tidbit about the consequences of sex before commitment, knowing just how sinful it was? 

===> Karkat: What? 

Shit. That was your dad talking. There were benefits of growing up with a priest, sure, but lots and lots of drawbacks as well. You remember this one time in your childhood when- 

===> Karkat: Back to business.

Oh. Right. There wasn’t really any part of you in this little “business transaction” yet, however. You were more or less pinned to the couch by a wiry nerd of a man who’s hand was down your pants, feeling you up into a pulsing hard-on you were ashamed to say felt great. 

“…S-Sollux, get the hell out of there, we shouldn’t--…“ 

He shushed you by pulling the hand that was in your pants out and pressing a finger /from that hand/ to your lips. You reeled back in disgust, shoving his hand away. 

“You’re already like halfway to doin’ it, might ath well shoot it down my throat.” 

You froze.

Had you heard that right? You just assumed this was going to be along the lines of a sloppy drunken handjob with maybe a few hickeys for the road, not /this/. You gulped thickly, and felt your hips buck (unfortunately) towards his hand when contact resumed. 

Well shit. 

It wasn’t everyday your highschool crush offered something like this, so you might as well roll with it. 

===> Karkat: Buckle up.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this. I do take suggestions, and comments are really appreciated! Thanks for reading. I should update pretty soon.


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